I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize