So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Randomize
