honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
