masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
