Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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