grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
