all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Randomize
