he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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