no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Randomize
