i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
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