The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
