Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize