Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
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