I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Randomize