I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
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