I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
