the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
jump out the window naked night went bad
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