I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
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