dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
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