My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Randomize
