If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
