i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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