He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
love makes seman taste better
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
