butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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