don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
