Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
