Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
Randomize
