For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
you inspire me to be a worse person
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
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