Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
