even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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