great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
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