i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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