She's JV to your varsity
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
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