Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
