I want to have your abortion
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Randomize
