just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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