your thong is hanging out like whoa
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
