the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
A+ Viking dick
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
