Moan for me like Helen Keller
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Randomize
