I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Randomize
