Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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