can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Randomize
