I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
