i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
We are two peas in an std pod
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
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