so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
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