Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Randomize
