she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
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