so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
