jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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