a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
That accounts for only three of the penises
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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