ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I'm at about main and main street
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
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