If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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