TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Did you just see the Batmobile???
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
