It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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