I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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