so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
