I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
