just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize