Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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