Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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