I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
