Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize