Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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