Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
