come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
