Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
I'm at about main and main street
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
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