It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
