guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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