AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize