D3 body, D1 cock
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
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