he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Did you pee in the oven last night??
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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