Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
