There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
