I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
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