I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Randomize
