I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Success! We fucked roommates!
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
