There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
He did a backflip because drugs
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