I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
